Sex fetishes

Swingers and Dominants and Men in Skirts.
Blindfolds, wigs, paddles, high-heeled shoes…sound fascinating? If it YES, then perhaps you could be turned on by alternative sex. Perhaps you have already deal with some of these things, and you may not even recognize it. What pleasant, sexy feelings you get while you're wearing new silk panties or boxers? Or the rush you get when you and your partner act out one of your sexual fantasies? Or what about the “love tap” that you give to your partner's butt? Those are all small aspects of alternative sex.

Alternate sex is composed of role playing, crossdressing, group sex, fetishism, or S/M. Probably you have thought about trying some of these things, but you just didn't know how to start. OK, it's very easy. All you have to do, is talk about it with your partner, gain knowledge of what you'd like to do, and then begin to creative.

Group Sex: All Together Now.
Just imagine the hot feelings of being touched all over by four sets of hands, or kissing somebody, during someone else is having oral sex on you and a third person is licking your asshole, or watching your partner have sex with someone else while you are also having sex with another person.

As usual, group sex includes three or more people. Such sex also calls “swinging.” Swinging is the term used for recreational sex that usually involves two or more heterosexual couples (often two married couples). For swingers such sex is probably mode of life. Unlike other people who did it once or twice, swingers do it almost always. In case if you feel the desire to have more than one sexual interrelation at once, you're entering complicated territory. In spite of opinions of many persons, there are pros and cons to having group sex.

Some of the pros are:

You will add a large number of partners, thus easing the pressure to find that one, right “Mr. or Miss Ideality” who meets all your needs.
You may stay friends with ex-lovers, which is more benevolent for sex again after the sexual relationship ends.
There is no anything thing like “affair” to prevent your primary relationship. Both you and your partner will not have to be tempted to end your relationship with each other, or have sex with another person.

On the negative side:

In case you have multiple lovers it is hard to spend your time effectively. As more lovers you have then less time you can give to each of them.
Such mode of life isn’t widely accepted in nowadays. Practicing one may expose you to criticism and arguments from monogamists who consider your behavior “fraud,” even if you and your partners don't.
As a result, you may have deep hardship surrounding jealousy and distrust that do not surface until you get into group sex. Then once these issues surface, they could hurt your primary relationship.

There are a lot of ways to broaden your sexual experiences and get involved in group sex. As a rule swinging couples often meet at swinging clubs and parties. These arrangements can be either “on-premises,” which means you can engage in sexual activities right there, or “off-premises,” which means you leave the party or club to go to a hotel room or the home of one of the couples. It's also common for swingers to meet through newsletters, personal ads, and Internet bulletin boards and chat rooms. Check Addendum B in this book for some resources.

Despite the fact that there are many different types of group sex activities, there are some common arrangements and activities and some generally accepted rules of the game. Sex among three persons may or may not involve same-sex interaction. A typical threesome involves a man, his female partner, and another woman. Threesomes involving two men and a woman are not consider like common, it is a normal type of alternative sexual behavior. Group sex certainly allows for voyeurism, so even if not all three of you are having sex with each other equally, at least you can see everything that's happening to each of you. There are some group sex situations, when man wants to see the two woman together, or the woman wants to see her man with another woman, while she's there to supervise. Some people just want to grope each other without even having intercourse at all.

If a man wants to be with two women at once, he has to realize that for the women, this is a bigger deal than just having group sex—it also means experiencing some aspects of bisexuality that she may or may not be comfortable with. The same happens with situation in which a woman wants to watch her man with another man. You should decide this question for yourself, do you want to try it or not. Don't let someone else teach you and rummage in your feelings. Try to understand yourself.

Have you ever thought if group sex reasonably for you? Well, it's not a panacea for sexual tension or trouble between couples. If you and your partner are having are having some difficulties of mutual relation, you should visit your doctor, not join a swinging club. Group sex is not method for those who want to cheat on their spouse. Especially, such sex is not for those who suffer from jealousy, mistrust, or who feel at all unsure of their partner, themselves, or their relationship. Of course, safer sex is a must for people who engage in group sex, so if you decided to try it, you must use condoms and other safeguards. Only those couples who are mature enough to handle the physical and emotional aspects of the lifestyle and want to try to enjoy it can make group sex.

Can Alternative Sex Go Too Far?
There's an ancient proverb: “Erotic is when you use a feather; kinky is when you use the whole chicken.” It's true that many people detach their sexual life from their own life, especially when they don't understand the sexual practices that are part of those lifestyles. If you're into any of the behavior discussed in this chapter, people might say that you are “kinky.” Yet for the most part, it is unimportant how exotic your individual sexuality is, it is normal and natural for your personality.

Everybody has individual personalities and therefore, our sexuality is unique. It is absolutely normal to enjoy crossdressing, or fetishes, or group sex, or pain or domination or role playing. Or the other way - there's also nothing wrong with not enjoying any of those things. The only times that your sexual interests are wrong—the times when things go too far—are when you're putting yourself in hazard or hurting someone else. If you ever force or manipulate anyone to participate in any sex act against his or her desire, then you must immediately turn to help to your doctor and solve this problem. (In case the police don't get to you first!) In order not to hurting your own life because of your sexuality, you need to make sure that your sex life does not take over your entire life. If you are possessed by your sexual lifestyle, then you most likely need to see a therapist to gain some perspective on why this is happening to you. Sex should be one aspect of your life—not endless desire that absorbs you every second. So enjoy your sex life, tour individual sexuality, but keep it as only one aspect of your humaneness.